What really matters is our attitude and our perception

Never underestimate your Clients' Complaint, no matter how funny it might seem! This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-Care Executive.

 A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:

 'This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem.....

Beer beats women

Most men like women. But, most men like beer too ! So, for men it becomes a rather confusing choice between women and beer ! Following is a debate, to help you analyse which is better ! Here is the debate.

A Beer is always wet, a woman is not !
1 point for beer !

Beer is horrible, when it is hot !
1 point for women !

A cold beer, satisfies you !
1 point for beer !

If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again !
Draw ! ( Depends on your point of view ... )

10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and you don't have to drive anywhere !
1 point for women !

The older, The beer is - the better, it is !
1 point for beer !

Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God !
1 point for women !

If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you are normal. If you ask yourself how the next beer will be, you are an alcoholic !
1 point for women !

For a beer, you pay taxes !
1 point for women !

If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry !
1 point for beer !

You can always be sure that, you are the first one ' Opening ' a beer !
1 point for beer !

If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself !
1 point for beer !

You know exactly how much a beer costs !
1 point for beer !

A beer does not have a mother !
1 point for beer !

You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half an hour after !
1 point for beer !

So the Score is .......... Beer beats women - 9 to 6 !

If you are a woman reading this and getting angry ........ know that a beer would never get angry !
So .......... Another point for beer !
Now the final score is .......... Beer beats women - 10 to 6 !
from [PersianHub]

I would love to be a KID again!!! Wouldn't you???

It was normal to have two or three "best" friends.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.
The worst thing you could catch from the another friend was cooties
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.

**Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."

**"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

**Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."

**Being old referred to anyone over 20.

**It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.

**It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.

**Nobody was prettier than Mom.

**Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.

"Ring-a-Ring-o'-Roses" made perfect sense.

**Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."

**Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.

**Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.

**War was a card game.

**Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

**Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

**Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.

**Ice cream was considered a basic food group.

**Older siblings were the worst tormentors but also the fiercest
protectors.

**I would love to be a KID again!!! Wouldn't you???

Management Lesson II

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost : "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted  "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pufffff. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

Dont' mess with mature ladies

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding.
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! 
The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Great Indian Petrol Pump frauds

I had weird experience with some of the petrol pumps in Bangalore. Whenever I go and ask them to fill petrol for 500 Rs, first they will fill petrol for 100 Rs. Once you tell them "No, I asked for 500, not 100". they will say sorry and will fill petrol for rest 400 Rs. This incident happened to me many times. Always I thought it might be a language problem as I am not so good in Kannada. But the last week incident unfolded the ugly truth.

Last I ran out petrol near a petrol pump in Hennur. As I was well experience with the above explained things, I went in with a 500 Rs note in my hand.I asked them to fill for 500 Rs after showing the note. Immediately he called for his colleague and collected money from me.

Who is your neighbour?

Last week, I went to my friend's house. He had brought his mother from native and she wanted to see my son. I asked aunty - "How do you feel being in Bangalore?". The answer was as expected "Its boring and no life out there.". I said "Its the world of techies and rich. It won't suite us".

Later when I was with my friend, I told him about the conversation. Then he told me a story. When she came to Bangalore, the first few days she sat idle at home, then later she started roaming around and making friends in neighbourhood. She becomes friends with the opposite family who were living there for the past 6 years and a family next to them who were there for last 30 years. He said to me that these two family came to know each other through his mother.

I was beyond embarrassment. The two families who were next to each other and that too for the past 6 years do not know each other even though they were from the same place. I remembered the world is small and flat.