Quotes to cheer up!!

If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian . Think about it .

Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the Admiration!

Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! That's called Attitude. Keep on rocking!

EGG ATTACK On Your Car - New technique used by robbers.

If you are driving at night and were attacked with eggs on your car's windshield, do not operate your wiper or spray any water. Eggs mixed with water become milky and block your vision up to 92.5 %. You are forced to stop at road side and become victim of robbery. This is new technique used by robbers.

Take care and have a Safe Driving.

What really matters is our attitude and our perception

Never underestimate your Clients' Complaint, no matter how funny it might seem! This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-Care Executive.

 A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:

 'This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem.....

Beer beats women

Most men like women. But, most men like beer too ! So, for men it becomes a rather confusing choice between women and beer ! Following is a debate, to help you analyse which is better ! Here is the debate.

A Beer is always wet, a woman is not !
1 point for beer !

Beer is horrible, when it is hot !
1 point for women !

A cold beer, satisfies you !
1 point for beer !

If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again !
Draw ! ( Depends on your point of view ... )

10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and you don't have to drive anywhere !
1 point for women !

The older, The beer is - the better, it is !
1 point for beer !

Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God !
1 point for women !

If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you are normal. If you ask yourself how the next beer will be, you are an alcoholic !
1 point for women !

For a beer, you pay taxes !
1 point for women !

If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry !
1 point for beer !

You can always be sure that, you are the first one ' Opening ' a beer !
1 point for beer !

If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself !
1 point for beer !

You know exactly how much a beer costs !
1 point for beer !

A beer does not have a mother !
1 point for beer !

You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half an hour after !
1 point for beer !

So the Score is .......... Beer beats women - 9 to 6 !

If you are a woman reading this and getting angry ........ know that a beer would never get angry !
So .......... Another point for beer !
Now the final score is .......... Beer beats women - 10 to 6 !
from [PersianHub]

I would love to be a KID again!!! Wouldn't you???

It was normal to have two or three "best" friends.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.
The worst thing you could catch from the another friend was cooties
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.

**Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."

**"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

**Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."

**Being old referred to anyone over 20.

**It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.

**It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.

**Nobody was prettier than Mom.

**Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.

"Ring-a-Ring-o'-Roses" made perfect sense.

**Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."

**Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.

**Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.

**War was a card game.

**Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

**Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

**Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.

**Ice cream was considered a basic food group.

**Older siblings were the worst tormentors but also the fiercest
protectors.

**I would love to be a KID again!!! Wouldn't you???

Management Lesson II

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost : "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted  "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pufffff. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

Dont' mess with mature ladies

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding.
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! 
The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Great Indian Petrol Pump frauds

I had weird experience with some of the petrol pumps in Bangalore. Whenever I go and ask them to fill petrol for 500 Rs, first they will fill petrol for 100 Rs. Once you tell them "No, I asked for 500, not 100". they will say sorry and will fill petrol for rest 400 Rs. This incident happened to me many times. Always I thought it might be a language problem as I am not so good in Kannada. But the last week incident unfolded the ugly truth.

Last I ran out petrol near a petrol pump in Hennur. As I was well experience with the above explained things, I went in with a 500 Rs note in my hand.I asked them to fill for 500 Rs after showing the note. Immediately he called for his colleague and collected money from me.

Who is your neighbour?

Last week, I went to my friend's house. He had brought his mother from native and she wanted to see my son. I asked aunty - "How do you feel being in Bangalore?". The answer was as expected "Its boring and no life out there.". I said "Its the world of techies and rich. It won't suite us".

Later when I was with my friend, I told him about the conversation. Then he told me a story. When she came to Bangalore, the first few days she sat idle at home, then later she started roaming around and making friends in neighbourhood. She becomes friends with the opposite family who were living there for the past 6 years and a family next to them who were there for last 30 years. He said to me that these two family came to know each other through his mother.

I was beyond embarrassment. The two families who were next to each other and that too for the past 6 years do not know each other even though they were from the same place. I remembered the world is small and flat.

Management Lesson I

 Once three politicians Ram, Shyam and Gyan were traveling in an auto rickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks Ram and Shyam to go to HEAVEN. But, for Gyan, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL. Gyan is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made.

All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment? He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or preconceived notions. Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear or English test.

Ram is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly. Shyam is asked to spell "ENGLAND" and he too passes. It is Gyan's turn and he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA". Gyan protests that he doesn't now English.

He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent. Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Gyan should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for three).

Ram is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily And passes. Shyam is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too
passes. Gyan is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."Tough one. He Fails again. Gyan is extremely unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.

Ram is asked: "When did India get Independence?". He replied "1947" and passed. Shyam is asked "How many people Died during the independence struggle?". He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. Shyam catches it and says 200,000 and passes.

It's Gyan's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle. Gyan accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.

Management Lesson: "IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE" 

Bangalore, the other side

What to say more if you have time, read the article

Ambulances become labour rooms

Those who are too much proud about bangalore, understand we have something else to shame on.

Please don't tell me, Bangalore have mostly techies or highly educated, My friend knows much better or experienced.

"Salam-Namaste-Shukriya"

Change Your Thinking

Couldn't resist from posting this mail.

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking...
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back...
The men talked for hours on end.They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The world is small and flat

Today early morning I reached back in Bangalore. I took an auto to reach my home. On the way I saw two three autos passed me by and they were heading in my direction. Once I reached my place, I saw the same auto in my street. I was really wondered these people were on the same compartment and we never knew that we are neighbours.

Suddenly I remembered the line "The world is small and flat". Yes! the world is small and flat. The technology brought us so near that we do never feel the distance.

Laziness: mother of all innovation

I found a way to cheat my colleagues to show that I am always busy. When I was not assigned any work, then also I used to open my Eclipse. But the price is too much, it eats up all my memory. So I started thinking of another way. Bravo, I found. I opened my eclipse, open a few Java programs in it and took the screen shot of active window.

I made the screen shot my desktop wallpaper and hide all the desktop icons. See my eclipse is always open right before everybody's eyes. But no one notices that it always contains the same java programs :-)

Cons :
You get fooled your self. I tried minimize the window a few times, thinking actual eclipse is running. Apart from this, everything goes fine.

Holler of a nomophobic

At last I was able to make it to the phone service centre. Once I entered, I saw lot of people waiting. I was so curious, why this many people? I waited at the counter for my chance. Service person was running like his a** is on fire. Finally he came and checked my mobile. I told him what is the problem.

He was checking my handset to find a loop hole to reject the service as I was on warranty. Finally he asked me "Are you using your touch screen with hands?" I said "Of course, that is why its called touch screen. Isn't it?". To my shock, the reply was "No Sir. You are not supposed to use hands. Only stylus. So we can not do it under warranty. You have to replace the panel and it costs 3500" I was taken aback for a while. Then I asked "Are you sure? How are you telling it is because of the usage with hands? So what is the resale value?". "Yes, I am sure. Daily I am seeing 6-7 handsets" He said. "If you sell you may get 6 - 7 K". And I was thinking daily 6-7 handsets with same problem? very good brand I bought and at that moment there were nearly 9 to 10 people waiting.

Finally I decided not to service. I have to repair it paying 3.5K and after all my mobile now costs around 6K. Then I met many people, all facing similar kind of problem. Some had issues within a month they bought. I could not find any satisfied customer. Finally I decided, I will NEVER EVER GO FOR HTC.

Too much dependency on technology fools you...

My HTC touch is not working for the past few days. Its touch screen sometimes recognizes the gestures and sometimes it is dead freeze. So I wanted give it for repairing as it is still under warranty period. I went to the shop where I bought my mobile and they said they wont undertake any service. So I have to give to the respective service centre and they suggested me that service centre address will be on the bill.

I came back to home and got the address. The service centre location was unknown to me and I decided to check with my travel assistants Mr. Google Maps and Mr. Wikimapia. With their help, I could locate the place, actually Mr. Google Maps was less helpful to me as he have less number of legends. Anyway I got the place. Last Saturday, I asked my friend to come with me to the service centre.

But somehow I lost the way as the traffic rules here in Bangalore frequently changes. So my friend asked me "Did you call them to get the address?" I said "No. I referred Google Maps". "Whaaat??" my friend screamed. "You referred some online map and trying to spot the place?" He asked me. "Do you know how many crosses and streets are here". I said "Don't worry. They wont misguide us" as I was fully confident on my travel assistants. Finally we had to ask the local people to get to the right place.

So finally we reached the place. We went in. Security asked "How can I help you Sir?". I said "I came for repairing my mobile". "Which model Sir?" Security asked. I said "HTC". The response was "We are sorry. We do not undertake the servicing of HTC any more. It is shifted to another place" and he gave me the new address and I was so afraid to look at my friends face.

When we got out, he told me "If you had called them before coming here, it would have helpful for us in some way. It was too bad". I said "I never imagined this would happen and the mobile shop person also gave me the old address". Again we started to the new address. It was some 10 KM away from our place. After a struggle, we found the place and I was totally taken aback when I read the board "Sundays and First Saturday holiday". I rode all the 30 KM just to read this board. I wish if I had called to the number, this would not have happened... I rode 60 KM to and fro, wasted nearly 4 hours of time of mine and my friend, all because of too much dependency on technology.

God named Reynold

Wondering about the blog title. Even I was wondered when I heard about him. On may 18, I have become a proud father of a baby boy. So me and my wife were searching good names for our son. Our criteria was to get a name bit stylish, short and meaningful. So we had some names already on the list.

But somebody told me or as all people goes after numerology, I too decided, "Ok. Let me try". So I asked my wife to get a name consulting the astrologer. She came to know that her sister's friend is getting married to an astrologer and she contacted him.
After going through my sons rough horoscope and applying numerology, he suggested that he should bear the name of a god and gave his list of suggestion. I was going through the list.

1. Gaurav
2. Sree Badran
3. Shiv
4. Reynolds
5. Aanjaneya

Wait a second!!! Did I see a name called "Reynolds". I was totally embarrassed and asked my wife "Which is this God?". She also got confused and called the astrologer back. The response was, "As you said, I found some name according to numerology". "Ohhh... Ok." I said.

When I was back in office, I asked my colleagues, have you ever heard of a god "Reynolds" and explained the story. But strange, I got a reply. Do you know who is that? My friend said, It is Lord Sri Rama. He is a complete man and "Reynold suiting" advertisement says the Completed Man. So he pinned down Reynolds is the other name of Lord Sri Rama (Joke). But to my surprise, the motto belonged to Reymond Suiting, not Reynolds.

Why Moral Policing?

Two days back I read in News Paper that a few people threatened a girl for sitting in a guys lap. They warned her in the name of moral policing. I was thinking why moral policing and what is that? I feel moral policing is not something that started a few days back or few months back. Its been here for centuries. Moral policing is a new era coined term for controling peoples life in the name of religion or culture.

Way back to Jesus era, we know Mary Magdalene who was rescued by Jesus from the mob. Did he rescue her from a moral policing? There was time in European countries, they burnt women alive saying they were witches. Again its moral policing. In India recently few people beat women for indecent dressing. But these so called protectors forgot, in British regime only our women started to cover their chest.

Time keep on changing and so everything but not the views of these brats. How these so called protectors of religion or culture going offend these changes? We are wrong here. Certainly their views / strategies are changed. Now they are all doing all these stupid stunts aiming the votes of larger Hindu community and not to defend the culture.

Hangover

Well last week I saw the film "Hangover". It was amazing and sometimes I felt its not reel life, but real life. As of my last blog, it was quite familiar in my life.

I recommended the film to my friend circle. Every time when we have booze, we used to vow "This is our last", but unfortunately that last never come and we are still waiting...

Anyway I would recommend "Hangover" to all the comedy loving persons and to all who drinks. Its a page from your life or something you might have experienced one time. A total blank out.

Having a heavy drink and in the morning wake up from a coma thinking what happened last night. Did i take food? Or sometime you will be embarrassed when you hear your friends say "Dude what you did yesterday.. bla bla bla" or shows you the photos they have taken (when I was bachelor I was so afraid of this).

Back again

Almost after one and half years, I am back to my old blog and that too with a bang. I have started a new blog only for technical discussions which you can find here.