What's the shotgun for?

A man wakes up one morning and found a gorilla on his roof.
So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an add for "Gorilla Removers."

he calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he will be over in 30 minutes.
The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of his van.

He's got a LADDER, a BASEBALL BAT, a SHOTGUN and a HUGE DOG.

"What are you going to do", the house owner asks?

I'm going to put this LADDER up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this BASEBALL BAT.
When the gorilla falls off, the DOG is trained to grab the gorilla's testicles and squeeze.
The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the house owner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the house owner.
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If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, SHOOT THE DOG."

Quotes to cheer up!!

If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian . Think about it .

Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the Admiration!

Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! That's called Attitude. Keep on rocking!

EGG ATTACK On Your Car - New technique used by robbers.

If you are driving at night and were attacked with eggs on your car's windshield, do not operate your wiper or spray any water. Eggs mixed with water become milky and block your vision up to 92.5 %. You are forced to stop at road side and become victim of robbery. This is new technique used by robbers.

Take care and have a Safe Driving.