Dont' mess with mature ladies

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding.
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! 
The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Great Indian Petrol Pump frauds

I had weird experience with some of the petrol pumps in Bangalore. Whenever I go and ask them to fill petrol for 500 Rs, first they will fill petrol for 100 Rs. Once you tell them "No, I asked for 500, not 100". they will say sorry and will fill petrol for rest 400 Rs. This incident happened to me many times. Always I thought it might be a language problem as I am not so good in Kannada. But the last week incident unfolded the ugly truth.

Last I ran out petrol near a petrol pump in Hennur. As I was well experience with the above explained things, I went in with a 500 Rs note in my hand.I asked them to fill for 500 Rs after showing the note. Immediately he called for his colleague and collected money from me.

Who is your neighbour?

Last week, I went to my friend's house. He had brought his mother from native and she wanted to see my son. I asked aunty - "How do you feel being in Bangalore?". The answer was as expected "Its boring and no life out there.". I said "Its the world of techies and rich. It won't suite us".

Later when I was with my friend, I told him about the conversation. Then he told me a story. When she came to Bangalore, the first few days she sat idle at home, then later she started roaming around and making friends in neighbourhood. She becomes friends with the opposite family who were living there for the past 6 years and a family next to them who were there for last 30 years. He said to me that these two family came to know each other through his mother.

I was beyond embarrassment. The two families who were next to each other and that too for the past 6 years do not know each other even though they were from the same place. I remembered the world is small and flat.